Funny exerpts I came across...

An online wedding florist with a most appropriate UR: www.deflowerhouse.com.

Italian power company, Powergen: www.powergenitalia.com

Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

Pen Island, online pen company: www.penisland.net

Choose Spain, online Spanish Holiday Rentals: www.choosespain.com

Experts Exchange: www.expertsexchange.com

Cumming First United Methodist Church: www.cummingfirst.com/organ.html

- Extracted from Mr Brown Blog

What's My Religion?

I've been asked this question every once in a while my whole life. I guess growing up in a multi racial country with a mixture of religions, somehow this question is common. My whole life I have been asking myself this question too.

I know my parents are Buddhist...but they don't really practise or follow the Buddhist way to the book. I guess They are like most Singaporeans who kinda have a religion by default because their parents practiced it, their parents' parents practiced it...so on. They are also cool with the fact that I have chosen not to adopt a religion. Don't get me wrong, There are some who will label me as a Atheists. There's an interesting article about it actually. (http://atheism.about.com/b/a/054541.htm)

But I beg to differ.

What is it about people that there is this constant need to define and classify things? If you do not have a religion, then you are an Atheists. It's like the very term "Atheists" is a religion by itself. I don't think I actually fall into that category 'cause to be an A, you'll have to not believe in any religion or God. I am not an indecisive person nor am I trying to be different, I just chose not to fall into any grouping. To date, I have yet to find a religion that I can wholeheartedly believed in. For me, I am open to all options and ideas. I believe in science and evolution, I believe in Fengshui, I believe there are higher beings at work in our universe, I believe in Fate, I believe in Karma, I even followed my mum to the temple once in a while to pray... the list goes on.

For me, religion is a form of branding. It is invented by people to control people. It is invented by people to justify their acts, to make others follow them and to command people to do things that they normally will not do. There are literary articles published and sold that you buy to read about religion, these are marketing tools. Some might say that I am committing blasphemy here. But hey, one is entitled to their own opinions right?

I have always felt like an outcast.

When I was in my secondary school, a group of my girlfriends decided to join a certain religious group. Back then certain religion target students as their new blood and will recruit them by inviting them to gatherings and parties. I somehow chose to pull out. I was tempted to join. To be in the "In" crowd. But I did not. And I was left out...I felt abandoned by my friends. I almost gave in inorder to have my friends back again. The sense of envy I felt to see them seating in a group, talking and laughing. But I knew then that religion is not something that you should take lightly. One should choose their own calling and not follow the crowd. And my calling was not there.

So here I am today, yet to commit to any religion. Not because I am against any, but just because I have yet to find my true calling I guess. But I have this theory of my own: That all the religions in the world actually originated from one source... overtime, when it was passed on from one generation to another, it was modified and shaped to suit the individual society. Politicians or kings might have a hand in it. They shaped the story to try to unify their people, to control their people. And before you know it, we have so many variations of religions. Each claiming to be the true source. But if u look at all the religions, you might still find certain similarities that retained it's original skeleton. Anyway, that's my take...

The world today is fill with a mixture of wonder and horror. War torn cities, ruined by politics and religion. People committing crimes in the name of God. Politician passing out laws that protect criminals in the name of human rights. Some countries suffering from famine and drought, others overwhelmed by tsunamis and floods. We are given this piece of prime property...yet we totally disregards its value. There are people out there doing their small parts to try to make it better...but it's like trying to swim against the tides.

Everytime I switched on the telly and see the news of what's going on in the world, I feel so depress. We are probably the most destructive thing that ever sprout from the face of the earth. I see the sufferings of natural disaster and I wonder if we deserved it. I see innocent lives lost and I feel so angry with those who have the power to prevent it. I asked myself what am I doing for my part in this world? Am I part of the problem as well? Do I want to have children and give them these?

So what's my religion? I still don't have an answer to that. It's such an unimportant question in the scale of what's happening out there. I am just a person who try my best to be a good person. Sometimes I am selfish, sometimes I might break the rules...but in whole, I try to smile at everyone I meet and help anyone whom I came across who needs it. I have my flaws, I know I have tones of bad habits... but I don't spite people just to feel powerful, I don't call people names just because they are different.

I remember there was a campaign launched by some fashion brand (either Espirit or United Colors of Benetton) which asked people to write in to suggest how to make the world better. And the winning entry was "Turn off the lights so that we cannot see...that way we cannot judge a person by their looks and colour". This statement has stayed with me since then 'cause it hit me that that is so true.

The Cupboard

So we have a "wardrobe" right...which is actually just 2 old cupboard. They're those seventies looking cupboards with gold brass handles and glued on thin ply that has wood patterns on.

Apart from the door that wouldn't close, we have discovered more interesting things about them. The drawer on the left, is stuck for one thing. And if we forced it open, the whole drawer just drop out of it's latch. So we had to spend a few minutes trying to heave the bloody thing back into it's slot and get it into the latch.

Then there is the compartment on top of it. The pole for hanging is bent...as in if you hang anything on it, they will all slide to the centre and the weight will make it bend even more....duh. The g-force of this caused stress to the side of the panels and they are being pushed outwards...which caused the entire cupboard to look abit fat in the middle.... if you know what I mean.

The stacks of drawers on the right, which initially looked ok...turned out to be not as great either. They had to be opened in a certain order...eg. 2nd drawer first, top next, last drawer and then 2nd last. If not, then you will have the task of putting back 4 drawers into their latch. Very time consuming.

Then the question is: "Why are we using such troublesome cupboards?"

Well for one thing, they are left for us by our landlord. 2nd thing, we as tenants were not supposed to remove or install anything that is out of the original condition of the unit....no nails on the wall, no repainting, blah blah blah.

Anyway, apart from it's condition, these are still very useful cupboards for storage. They have plenty of compartments and also a big mirror. It's things like these that makes our life interesting for recollection later. So we are counting our blessings and enjoying every moment of it.

Hail!

Dear Diary,

Yesterday the weather was very cold. And we got hail! Yes my very first sighting of hail. Apparently it's quite a common occurrence here during winter but for a Singapore girl like me it was a fascinating experience.

I remember a few years back the weather in Singapore got to a point when it was pretty cold (for Singapore's standards la). At one point a chunk of ice fell from the sky and landed on some Bishan coffeeshop roof. It was such a phenomenon then and caused quite a commotion. Of cause by the time someone reported it to the TV station and the reporters arrived, the chunk had already melted down to just a dot. Everyone was talking about it, the TV stations reported it, Chinese newspaper splash it across their front page and the coffeeshop had very good business for the next few weeks.

But there I was, standing inside a laundrette and watching tiny 5mm bits of icicles falling from the sky. I remember I was drying my laundry when it started to rain...and it got louder and louder. The pelting of the raindrop became almost like tiny marbles dropping and I looked out and saw tiny chips of ice bouncing off the pavements. It did not occur to me it was hail then... My first thought was: "Who is tossing all these white stuffs around?" Heheehehe... idiot

Then my dear Chris enlightened me that it's hail. I was so excited... very suagu right. I even wanted to go outside and collect a handful... Luckily Chris stopped me and made me realise how stupid that idea was. Anyway, it lasted for about half an hour and by the time it stoppped, the streets were slippery from all the melted frost. What an experience!

10:05am
24/07/06 (Monday)
Winter - Rainy and Cloudy

Paintball = Painball

I went for a paintball game a few weeks back. Finally received the photos yesterday. That's me in the red circle.

When Chris' friend "jio" us to play Skirmish, my first thought was: "What the freak is Skirmish??" Apparently that's what they call it here...Skirmish = Paintball game.

Initially I was not thrilled by the idea...it's such a guy thing. Rolling around in dirt, running with a gun (fake one of cause), mock warfare and getting all sweaty and dirty. But since Chris was so excited by it and he told me it will be cool to meet more people...I thought what the heck...so there I was.

The day arrive and we have to wake up at an ungodly hour (4am) to catch a coach to Echucca...The Bush. It's a 3 hour drive from Melbourne and rather dry and windy. On the coach they played "Black Hawk Down" to get us into the mood of killing someone....haha...nervous.

The location was a big range with over 12 playing fields. All the fields were designed to simulate army training grounds...we have tires and wrecked up cars as covers...ruined brick barracks, trees, bushes and moulds of hills to scale or prone in. After gearing up and being briefed on the rules of the game, we were brought to the playing field and given certain time limits to play each field.

I soon got into the mood of the game and end up enjoying myself. I guess my NPCC training came back to me and the tomboy in me took over. I rolled and prone in the dirt... run and take cover... even stalk my "enemies" and manage to "kill" a few...hehehe. I was a better shooter than I realised.

The day ended with bbq burgers and boy were we hungry. We gulped down our food like it was the most delicious cuisine in the world. Everything wrapped up at 4pm and after returning our gears we huddle back up the coach and head home. By the time we reached Melbourne, it was close to 7pm.

I couldn't wait to hit the sack. It was a very tiring day and my whole body was aching... the next day and for the whole week after I felt the full impact of my rusty body. Paintball? More like pain to me...

TV vs Dvd Player

We bought a new dvd player! Finally can catch all the movies that I have been dying to rent. Right?

WRONG!!!!

Yes, another one of my many new discoveries in life here.... some televisions were manufactured before dvds were ever invented. ARRRGGGG!!!

When we were shopping for a television a couple of weeks back, Chris' boss(very nice man) was kind enough to offer us his old television. It was a Sony...enough said. We were ecstatic...no need to buy a tv...can save money...somemore the tv was a big one with remote control still working. After lugging the bloody heavy, big thing back, we couldn't wait to sit in front of our fire place and watch tv programmes.

However, as Murphy(Murphy's Law) will say...all thing that can go wrong, will go wrong.

The house have NO...I repeat...NO TV OUTLETS!!! What kind of people use to stay here?! Anyway, no worries...we bought a portable satellite dish... so at least we can see something despite it being blurry. On good days we can even pick up channels from Fiji!

Then the remote control for no apparent reason...ceased to work.... ok.... nevermind, can still use manual tuning. Next, the television started to give us funny colours... ok... at least still got visual. We were determined to make this work.

Finally we bought a dvd yesterday. There was a big electrical goods sale and we got our dvd for only $49! After happily unpacking the dvd player and reading the instruction manual carefully...we were all ready to plug it in and play. And we found out that our big wonderful Sony has no AV input outlet... (damn you Murphy!). It dawned upon us slowly that this freaking television was manufactured more than 20 years ago.... before technology jumps on the super highway and give us dvds and vcds...whatever.

So we are back to blurry channels and faulty remote control. Hmm...might have to buy a tv afterall...

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Last night the gas heater broke down. The rain was pounding outside and it was freezing cold. We have no heat but plenty of gas. So it was between a choice of breathing in gas and die or opening the windows and freezing to death. Not much of a choice huh...

The "wardrobe" advertise in the paper for our place turn out to be just two cupboard. One with door that cannot be closed. Every time we want to close it, we have to open the drawers below to "pin" the door close.

The kitchen sink clogged up again. It's only 1 feet by 0.8 feet...not a very big sink. I have do my dishes in batches...wash the utensils first, the plates later and the pots last. The pots are the most challenging 'cause it cannot fit into the small sink...so I have actually develop some good maneuvering skills...might help in my driving.

Speaking of driving...I have to find another driving instructor now that I have moved to another suburb. Apparently driving instructors are pretty much tagged to their neighbourhood. They don't like to travel far...ironic isn't it since they are the ones who moved around the most.

The stove is burning well. The oven is not though. I suspect the gas outlet is clogged but I'm not keen to find out. Last thing we need is more gas in the house. So no roast meat or baking cookies on our menus for now.

We bought our new microwave! The kitchen table top could not hold its weight though. When we placed it on the table... the middle sunk down. So the door of the microwave could not be open fully due to the uneven surface. We cut out styrofoam for the base to prop it up...aren't we innovative...

The toilet tap has developed the habit of spitting out oil blobs when we keep it running for too long. Must be some plumbing lubricant that got trapped in the pipe when the landlord was fixing it. It's not huge blobs...just tiny speckles that is barely noticeable unless u decided to gurgle your mouth with the water. I found out about it when I did just that...gurgle and taste oil....Yuck! I think I swallowed some too. Guess it's good way of building up my immune system. Might keep me warm too if I stand near a flame...with all the oil in my stomach. Or it probably can help in my bowel system with all the lubricant in my systems...hahaha (sick joke)

Chris manage to fixed up our washing machine in the toilet...that's my man! But our first attempt at washing turn out to be a disaster 'cause the water pipe was not screwed on tight enough. Imagine being assaulted by high powered jets of cold water. Took me an hour to get the toilet back in order...by then I decided to wash the toilet anyway...make full use of the water.

We took our laundry to the laundrette to have it spin dry. It was rainy and we could not hang it out to dry. (Note: Never let a man in charge of laundry) Chris selected high heat spinning inorder to speed up the process. We have a lot of mini sweaters and long johns now...can probably passed it to Sheryl and Glenn when they visit.

Well, life's great so far....not a dull moment. I remember when I first came people told me I'll be so bored with nothing to do here... who are they kidding? I wonder what's in store for me next....aint life interesting.

9:55am
17/07/06 (Monday)
Winter - Rainy and Cloudy

Freedom!!!

Finally! We are free!!!

Things have gotten so bad living with "Poison Lvy" aka "Psycho". It was so bad that it was affecting my mental and physical well-being. The constant bullying and tantrum she throws was so unbelievable and it has taken a toil on me. It really goes beyond my comprehension that a person can be so mean and selfish.... not a drop of conscience in her blood.

Everyday was a constant strain to deal with all the disharmony...it just gets so tiring. I guess for someone like her, it's a fuel to go on. She thrives on the fact that she can make people's life miserable and felt energies by it.

Instead of staying on and trying to work things out, sometimes it's just better to walk away. No point fighting a battle that has no winner. She will never change and see reason, so why bother.

We have decided to break out of that hell hole and venture out into the big world ourselves. A lot of things to learn and it's scary to free fall... but heck... anything will be better.

The sense of peace I felt the day I walked out of the place was incredible. The thought hit me the next day that I don't have to be worried anymore... I did not know that all these months of staying there, I have been conditioned to be as tensed up as a coiled spring. The sudden change makes me feel kinda lost as to what to do next....but it's so liberating!

Freedom has never tasted so sweet.