What's My Religion?

I've been asked this question every once in a while my whole life. I guess growing up in a multi racial country with a mixture of religions, somehow this question is common. My whole life I have been asking myself this question too.

I know my parents are Buddhist...but they don't really practise or follow the Buddhist way to the book. I guess They are like most Singaporeans who kinda have a religion by default because their parents practiced it, their parents' parents practiced it...so on. They are also cool with the fact that I have chosen not to adopt a religion. Don't get me wrong, There are some who will label me as a Atheists. There's an interesting article about it actually. (http://atheism.about.com/b/a/054541.htm)

But I beg to differ.

What is it about people that there is this constant need to define and classify things? If you do not have a religion, then you are an Atheists. It's like the very term "Atheists" is a religion by itself. I don't think I actually fall into that category 'cause to be an A, you'll have to not believe in any religion or God. I am not an indecisive person nor am I trying to be different, I just chose not to fall into any grouping. To date, I have yet to find a religion that I can wholeheartedly believed in. For me, I am open to all options and ideas. I believe in science and evolution, I believe in Fengshui, I believe there are higher beings at work in our universe, I believe in Fate, I believe in Karma, I even followed my mum to the temple once in a while to pray... the list goes on.

For me, religion is a form of branding. It is invented by people to control people. It is invented by people to justify their acts, to make others follow them and to command people to do things that they normally will not do. There are literary articles published and sold that you buy to read about religion, these are marketing tools. Some might say that I am committing blasphemy here. But hey, one is entitled to their own opinions right?

I have always felt like an outcast.

When I was in my secondary school, a group of my girlfriends decided to join a certain religious group. Back then certain religion target students as their new blood and will recruit them by inviting them to gatherings and parties. I somehow chose to pull out. I was tempted to join. To be in the "In" crowd. But I did not. And I was left out...I felt abandoned by my friends. I almost gave in inorder to have my friends back again. The sense of envy I felt to see them seating in a group, talking and laughing. But I knew then that religion is not something that you should take lightly. One should choose their own calling and not follow the crowd. And my calling was not there.

So here I am today, yet to commit to any religion. Not because I am against any, but just because I have yet to find my true calling I guess. But I have this theory of my own: That all the religions in the world actually originated from one source... overtime, when it was passed on from one generation to another, it was modified and shaped to suit the individual society. Politicians or kings might have a hand in it. They shaped the story to try to unify their people, to control their people. And before you know it, we have so many variations of religions. Each claiming to be the true source. But if u look at all the religions, you might still find certain similarities that retained it's original skeleton. Anyway, that's my take...

The world today is fill with a mixture of wonder and horror. War torn cities, ruined by politics and religion. People committing crimes in the name of God. Politician passing out laws that protect criminals in the name of human rights. Some countries suffering from famine and drought, others overwhelmed by tsunamis and floods. We are given this piece of prime property...yet we totally disregards its value. There are people out there doing their small parts to try to make it better...but it's like trying to swim against the tides.

Everytime I switched on the telly and see the news of what's going on in the world, I feel so depress. We are probably the most destructive thing that ever sprout from the face of the earth. I see the sufferings of natural disaster and I wonder if we deserved it. I see innocent lives lost and I feel so angry with those who have the power to prevent it. I asked myself what am I doing for my part in this world? Am I part of the problem as well? Do I want to have children and give them these?

So what's my religion? I still don't have an answer to that. It's such an unimportant question in the scale of what's happening out there. I am just a person who try my best to be a good person. Sometimes I am selfish, sometimes I might break the rules...but in whole, I try to smile at everyone I meet and help anyone whom I came across who needs it. I have my flaws, I know I have tones of bad habits... but I don't spite people just to feel powerful, I don't call people names just because they are different.

I remember there was a campaign launched by some fashion brand (either Espirit or United Colors of Benetton) which asked people to write in to suggest how to make the world better. And the winning entry was "Turn off the lights so that we cannot see...that way we cannot judge a person by their looks and colour". This statement has stayed with me since then 'cause it hit me that that is so true.