Stupidity has no cure

That's right, stupidity has no known cure....and it's highly contagious. In some cases you are born with it. Scientist are still debating whether It's hereditary. But it's a disease widely known throughout the world. Most of us at some point in our life will catch it too. It's unknown, however, by which means it spreads.

Firstly, I'll like to state that I am by no means more clever or smarter than the person next to me. However, in my line of work, sometimes, unfortunately. I do encounter people with inborn stupidity.

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Case 1(This is a re-enactment of a phone conversation with a client):

Client:"Hi, did you receive the email attachment I sent this morning?"

Me:"No I didn't. I'm still waiting for it. I need it urgently actually. Btw, how big is the file?"

Client:"Hmm....let me check....(long pause) Oh it's 30MB."

Me (shocked but try to remain calm):"30MB?! I'm afraid my email cannot receive such a big file. 10MB is the max that can go through. Are you sure it's 30MB??"

Client (sounding unsure):"Hang on....let me check....(another long pause). Oh wait, it's not 30MB, sorry..."

At this point I heave a sigh of relieve. I was thinking maybe it's only 300KB. It couldn't be 30MB since all I need was an excel file for a chart.

Client (sound happy):"...hey, it's 30,000GB!"

I nearly fall off my chair.

Me:"............uh....sorry did you just say 30,000GB??"

Client:"Yes, 30,000GB. I'm very sure. Will you be able to receive it if I re-send the file?"

At this point I really don't know if that question justify an answer....

Me:"...erm, I only need the chart actually. Why is the file so huge? 30,000GB is an impossible figure for any computer to send through. Could you email me the pdf instead?"

Client:"Oh ok...(long pause. I suspect she was pdf-ing the file on the spot) Wow the pdf file is only 30KB! (she truly sound amazed) I'll email it to you then!"

Me:"Great! Thanks! Bye!"

It still struck me as really ridiculous when I recall the phone conversation. 30,000GB?!???!! What was she trying to send me??? Her entire country's server? In the first place, it's impossible for any computer unit to possess such a huge file. Anyone who is remotely familiar with working on a computer should know this. This client has no idea how ridiculous she sounds.

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Case 2:

I've got this gal friend who one day came crying to me. I asked her what happened and she recounted an accident she had in the toilet.

She was admiring her new engagement ring (1 carat diamond) while taking a dump in the toilet. As she was cleaning up after, her ring slipped off and fell with a plop into the bowl. Seeing how disgusting the mess was, she was rather hesitant to reach in to retrieve her ring. Then a bright idea struck her, she decided to flush the toilet instead. Thinking it will flush away all the shit and leave her sparkling ring behind. (ya, right!)

Well...the rest of the story you can imagine la.

Imagine flushing a 1 carat diamond ring down the sewers....man...that sucks big time. If I were her, I'll reach in and retrieve the ring, shit and all. But all I could do was shake my head in amazement and show my sympathy.

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Case 3:

This actually happened on a local radio station...

Deejay:"Hi, how can help you?"

Caller:"Hi, I'll like to dedicate a song to my dog."

Deejay:"Oh...so is it your pet's birthday?"

Caller:"No, I just like the song."

At this point you can tell the deejay was trying hard to make a decent conversation.

Deejay:"o...k....so you're an animal lover?"

Caller:"Oh no, I'm a student."

Then suddenly the commercial bit cut in abruptly...

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